Urban Giraffe – Page 12 – Life, The Universe, and WordPress

Guangzhou

So it’s been a very long time since I posted anything here, and it is not from apathy. Since returning from Norway I decided that I wanted to go to Asia, and so after a lot of hard work renewing passports and obtaining visas, I am now living in Guangzhou, the third largest city in China.

I was very much hoping that China would be relatively free of the whole Christmas mania that blights everywhere in the West, but it seems not. In fact, the Christmas experience is heightened with the high pitched warbles of some child screeching Christmas songs out in every shop that are loud enough to do permanent damage to ears. Everyone seems oblivious to it apart from me. My ‘favourite’ was the adaptation of Jingle Bells:

Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Ding
Ding
Ding
Good every day

So why Guangzhou? Well, it’s certainly not for the clean and pollution free environment, but it is a big city with many advantages, the biggest being its vicinity to Hong Kong. Apparently Guangzhou is over 2000 years old, and is famed for it’s food (another name for the city is Canton, home of the Cantonese language and cuisine). The name itself apparently means ‘Goat Town’. Nice.

The weather averages a pleasant 20 degrees in winter, but it sure does feel cold at night with no heating.

And life in China? Very, very, strange. It’s a whole different world. I am constantly amazed by the amount of money that flows through the city. Restaurants and shops are always full to bursting, car dealers are selling 500 new cars a day, construction sites appear daily, and the whole place is alive. The eating experience is something that requires more details. Back home I’m used to restaurants and cafes being fairly small places, maybe serving 20 or 30 people. Restaurants here serve 1000’s at a time, over several floors, full of noise, chaos, and confusion (for me anyway). Need a table for two? No problem, the table folds down. Need a table for 20? Staff appear from nowhere rolling a giant table-top that fits over the smaller table.

It’s going to take a long time to fit everything inside my head.

(and I will get round to replying to all questions eventually).

AJAX Calendar

After all the hype and bubble-blowing, I decided to dip my little pinkie into the mix and experiment with AJAX. The result has been the release of a new plugin, cleverly titled ‘AJAX Calendar‘. Once installed this allows the standard WordPress calendar function to be enhanced such that:

Stepping through the months is now asynchronous, and only updates the calendar
Clicking on the calendar title takes you back to the current month
Clicking on the funny «-» button will expand the calendar and display the posts headings for that month
All content is cached
Works in most browsers

The plugin requires modifications to the WordPress theme, although these modifications have been included in version 1.23 of the Giraffe theme.

Have a play.

And there goes Autumn

After a long hiatus I am back in Prague, and it’s feeling good. Norway was a fantastic country to stay in. The countryside was, to use a ropey-old expression, drop-dead gorgeous. The people were very friendly, and I enjoyed myself a lot. Living in a hotel for so long did have its downsides, and I don’t miss that at all, but I succumbed to a reward scheme and have earned myself enough points to stay somewhere lovely.

My previous impressions of Oslo were more or less accurate, but I will update them here. The most important thing is that yes, Norway is indeed an expensive place. Even compared to London. When you look at simple items such as a stick of chewing gum or a can of coke, and find that they are up to five times more expensive, you start to take notice.

A curious fact is that even though the population of Norway is only 4,604,800 (half the population of London), they have two languages (and possibly more, but the distinction escapes me). Like most places I visited I managed to derive some amusement from words with dual meanings, and particularly enjoyed ‘spare bank’, ‘god parkering’, and ‘fartering’.

Giraffe 1.20

It’s been such a long time since I’ve posted anything here, and this is just going to be a technical post. Based upon feedback from different users, and the general direction of questions, I’ve released quite a major update of the Giraffe theme and plugin. The changes are:

Major overhaul of the admin interface – redundant options have been removed, and the interface has been simplified. Where possible I have used diagrams to show what the configuration options will change
Easy logos – a ‘logo’ directory now exists within the giraffe theme, and any image placed within here can be selected as the logo by using the admin interface. Additionally, two extra options exist to allow the logo to be randomly selected, and a custom function can be created to select a logo using whatever method you wish
Auto-news – the admin interface will now periodically check this website for changes to the theme, and will display this from inside the admin interface. This should make it easier for people to know when the theme has been updated
Curved corners and the left bar can be switched off
Comments order – comments can be displayed oldest first, or newest first
Gravatars – can be disabled
Calendar – can be disabled
Localization menu – now built into the theme
Most W3C validation errors fixed

A side effect of these changes will be that a lot of the administration interface is no longer localized properly. Hopefully it shouldn’t be too long before the new words can be translated.

Exploring Oslo

So I’ve had a few days experience of Oslo and my thoughts so far are:

It’s full of shiny new people and things
It’s very clean
Oslo has big traffic congestion problems
Norway has a lot of laws
The hotel has free wi-fi access in all rooms – nice!
It is expensive, but no more so than London
I’ve not seen a fish anywhere (although I think they are just hiding out of sight)
People get called Odd and Even
Most people have an almost perfect understanding of English, and can speak it with very little accent. I’ve been told that English is compulsory at schools from the age of 8 onwards. I suspect that the similarity in structure of English and Norwegian and Swedish may also be a contributing factor. Whatever the reason, I am in awe.
I met an old Odd guy who says his father tried to assassinate Trotsky when he was living here in Norway
I can once again buy goodies such as muffins and NME magazine. It really is a rock-star life-style I lead.

Organizing Norway

I am going to Norway today, for three weeks on business. I’ve never been to Scandanavia before so I’m looking forward to the trip, and especially to seeing the Norwegian countryside. My flight leaves in about 3 hours and everything is packed (excepting the computer I’m typing this on). I hate this dead-time before a big trip as I’m too jittery to do anything, but too organized to leave everything until the last minute.

People keep telling me that Norway is a very expensive country, and that I should expect to eat a lot of fish. I suspect the first is very likely to be true, and the second may just be a cultural stereotype. I’ll find out soon enough!

Anyway, here’s the extent of my Norwegian knowledge:

munch

After realizing my passport runs out in a few months, I’m feeling very much like that.

Isolating bubble

It’s been a busy month and I’ve barely had time to sit down, let alone write anything here. To top it all, both my parents have been hospitalized in some manner: my Dad suffered a ruptured bowel and underwent an emergency operation, and my Mum broke her shoulder.

It’s at times like these that you really notice how complicated living in another country can be. Not only do you feel helpless and so very far away, but even trying to find information can be problematic. For example, in calling the hospital about my Dad, I had to prove that I was directly related to him. This is easy to do in person, but how can you do it over the phone? Beyond birth date (which I know for many people), there is little that both myself and the hospital would know.

After convincing the staff that I was a real son, I then discovered that the phones provided to patients are on a premium-rate line anyway. That’s right, to call someone in the hospital you need to pay through the nose.

This quite astounded me as it seems tantamount to blackmail – pay up or we won’t tell you how your relative is. If you don’t care then don’t bother, but if you do then give us your money. Is this what hospitals have come to? An opportunity to outsource and have a money-grabbing company leech off the sick?

The Necronomicon

The other week I managed to watch a pretty bad series of horror stories, all wrapped together in a film called The Necronomicon. I knew it was going to be a bad movie even before it started, but I was still looking forward to it because it’s based upon the stories of H.P. Lovecraft.

For those unfamiliar with this author, he was a reclusive American writer who wrote in the mid-1920’s. His specialty was horror writing, but a horror unlike almost everything else in the genre. If you have any familiarity with Edgar-Allen Poe then you’ll know the style. We’re talking dark brooding horror, focusing on insanity and the human mind. Lovecraft managed to create his own shadow world which looked like ours, but contained unimaginable evils waiting to break free.

I read his stories as a teen and was struck by just how unique his visions were. They are not always scary, but most are genuinely creepy in a way that I’ve never seen before or since. The power of Lovecraft was that he rarely described the horror directly, but just suggested it and let you fill in your own details.

The movie is loosely based around Lovecraft’s world. The Necronomicon is a book that features in this, being ‘the book of the dead’ and containing all manner of dark secrets.

Loosely is a very apt term as the movie has little to do with the real stories. The whole story is centered on Lovecraft himself, performing research for his stories. He finds the Necronomicon in a monastery in America, and attempts to use it to further his stories. In doing so he discovers some of the events that happened because of the book. These are shown as sub-stories, with three in total.

Growing Flesh

A recent BBC news article caught my eye:

An international research team has proposed new techniques that may lead to the mass production of meat reared not on the farm, but in the laboratory.

Developments in tissue engineering mean that cells taken from animals could be grown directly into meat in a laboratory, the researchers say.

Scientists believe the technology already exists to directly grow processed meat like a chicken nugget.

Exactly what does it mean when it says ‘grow processed meat’? Should we expect fully-formed and genetically perfect burger trees? Are we heading to a Matrix-style ‘Field Of Flesh’, with our daily Meat intake provided by the latest harvest of Meat cubes?

HTTP 406 Error

Some work I’ve been doing recently has involved debugging a Mambo installation. The website had developed the curious ability to block the editing of certain articles, but allowed other ones through. These blocked attempts to save articles were resulting in a ‘406 Not Acceptable’ error.

According to the W3 specification, this means:

The resource identified by the request is only capable of generating response entities which have content characteristics not acceptable according to the accept headers sent in the request.

Say what?