General – Page 5 – Urban Giraffe

All that Jazz

Let me start this by stating that Jazz is not my thing. Not at all. It instantly brings to mind Starbucks-esque nondescript croonings that send me to sleep faster than just about anything.

With that in mind the rest of this post is about Jazz. Twice.

It was with some trepidation that I found myself paying a visit to the Backstreet Jazz Bar, situated in the lovely environs of Guangzhou’s Ersha Island. Around the corner is the Xinghai Concert Hall, and at the end of the street is the Pearl River. You can’t be any better situated.

99th Canton Fair

Guangzhou is all a-buzz at the moment with the semi-annual Canton Fair. This is South-East Asia’s biggest trade exhibition. We’re talking serious big here, and the numbers speak for themselves: last years show had a turnover of US$29,430 million, with 150,000 different products, and 210 trading countries. Not something to be ignored.

As you’d expect, the effect on the local economy is very pronounced. Hotels are all booked-up, and charge wildly exaggerated rates. Restaurants are trying their hardest to catch potential customers, with lots of bright English advertisements and special offers. The whole place feels alive.

From a personal perspective, just walking about the streets, it feels much more like a multi-cultural Hong Kong. Even the supermarkets seem different, and for a few moments yesterday I had a distinct feeling of confusion: am I walking around Chinatown, or am I in China?

Still, there are some differences. The influx of visitors has brought with it an increase in street traders, beggars, and all manner of methods to relieve foreigners of their money. It’s not uncommon to see young mother’s sitting on the street with one or two children, all wrapped up in many layers of clothes (despite the humid temperatures of 30 degrees). Upon seeing a foreigner the mother quickly directs the child to run alongside and chatter in a cheerful manner.

A more seedy effect of all this was experienced when taking a taxi to a restaurant that happened to be close to a popular luxury hotel. As the taxi neared the destination it went through an area crowded with people. Suddenly, there was a rush of noise, and 5 or 6 boys (maybe around 8-10 years old) came forward, pushing cards through a tiny slit in the car window next to me. It felt both disconcerting, and a little threatening. The cards were, of course, for call girls.

The thing I find interesting are the street traders. The fair seems to be very famous nationally, and it attracts a lot of people from the more rural parts of China, hoping to sell their products. In particular, there is one group of people wearing distinctively different clothes that have formed a semi-permanent encampment outside a nearby hotel. They are obviously some ethnic Chinese minority, although I’m not sure where from. They sit on a blanket on the street, all day and night, with their entire family (including Grandma!) and sell everything from jewelry to giant machetes and dried animal genitalia. The latter, I’m told, is because some Chinese believe that eating the genitalia of an animal is akin to an aphrodisiac/natural Viagra. Whatever the reason, it does make you look twice.

Way of the exploding laptop

Inconsistency may be the key word when it comes to the frequency of posts here, but things have been very busy behind the scenes. Unfortunatley my computer, in another attempt to continue it’s evil plan for domination, has decided that it no longer needs a graphics chip. At least, that’s what I think it’s decided. You can see for yourself here:

Everything appears to work fine, it’s just all under a thick veil of yellow fog. I’ve had the laptop in pieces and poked and prodded to see if anything was loose, but with no change. This actually happened last year, but a full recovery was made. Now I’m suspecting that my computer is very near to biting the bullet, and that I should seriously consider finding a new one before it explodes. Ouch.

Anyone had a similar experience and know of a quick (and cheap) fix?

A very Chinese New Year

The Christmas and New Year season is finally over, and I’ve made it out alive. Time for an update.

Christmas itself was very peaceful. Christmas eve was spent walking around a park in 25 degree sunshine, and eating water chestnut ice-cream. Definatley a big change from the artic conditions that occurred back in Europe. Christmas day was spent watching movies, and eating as much food as could be managed at La Seine – a very fine French restaurant that had a lunch-time ‘all-you-can-eat’ buffet. As is usual at this time of the year, I ate too much, and had a very bloated night and little to eat the next day. Still, well worth the money, and the mini quiche tartlets really were to die for (so much so that the chef-on-prowl commented he couldn’t look for fear of eating them all).

New Years eve saw some more movies, and a visit to The Paddy Field, the only Irish bar in town, with some live music that saw in the New Year. New Years day itself was spent climbing Baiyun mountain in yet more 25 degree sunshine.

It’s been interesting having spent this time of the year in a country for which it has no traditional meaning. Nothing at all stopped like it does in the West. Construction workers were still constructing at 11pm New Years eve night, and everything was open for business as usual.

I suspect that the Chinese view Christmas as an excuse to put up lots of flashing lights and cute pictures. I can’t help but think that there is some cultural liking for all things overly cute and fluffy, as demonstrated by the countless Hello Kitty, Snoopy, and other cartoons, that adorn everything possible.

Guangzhou

So it’s been a very long time since I posted anything here, and it is not from apathy. Since returning from Norway I decided that I wanted to go to Asia, and so after a lot of hard work renewing passports and obtaining visas, I am now living in Guangzhou, the third largest city in China.

I was very much hoping that China would be relatively free of the whole Christmas mania that blights everywhere in the West, but it seems not. In fact, the Christmas experience is heightened with the high pitched warbles of some child screeching Christmas songs out in every shop that are loud enough to do permanent damage to ears. Everyone seems oblivious to it apart from me. My ‘favourite’ was the adaptation of Jingle Bells:

Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Ding
Ding
Ding
Good every day

So why Guangzhou? Well, it’s certainly not for the clean and pollution free environment, but it is a big city with many advantages, the biggest being its vicinity to Hong Kong. Apparently Guangzhou is over 2000 years old, and is famed for it’s food (another name for the city is Canton, home of the Cantonese language and cuisine). The name itself apparently means ‘Goat Town’. Nice.

The weather averages a pleasant 20 degrees in winter, but it sure does feel cold at night with no heating.

And life in China? Very, very, strange. It’s a whole different world. I am constantly amazed by the amount of money that flows through the city. Restaurants and shops are always full to bursting, car dealers are selling 500 new cars a day, construction sites appear daily, and the whole place is alive. The eating experience is something that requires more details. Back home I’m used to restaurants and cafes being fairly small places, maybe serving 20 or 30 people. Restaurants here serve 1000’s at a time, over several floors, full of noise, chaos, and confusion (for me anyway). Need a table for two? No problem, the table folds down. Need a table for 20? Staff appear from nowhere rolling a giant table-top that fits over the smaller table.

It’s going to take a long time to fit everything inside my head.

(and I will get round to replying to all questions eventually).

And there goes Autumn

After a long hiatus I am back in Prague, and it’s feeling good. Norway was a fantastic country to stay in. The countryside was, to use a ropey-old expression, drop-dead gorgeous. The people were very friendly, and I enjoyed myself a lot. Living in a hotel for so long did have its downsides, and I don’t miss that at all, but I succumbed to a reward scheme and have earned myself enough points to stay somewhere lovely.

My previous impressions of Oslo were more or less accurate, but I will update them here. The most important thing is that yes, Norway is indeed an expensive place. Even compared to London. When you look at simple items such as a stick of chewing gum or a can of coke, and find that they are up to five times more expensive, you start to take notice.

A curious fact is that even though the population of Norway is only 4,604,800 (half the population of London), they have two languages (and possibly more, but the distinction escapes me). Like most places I visited I managed to derive some amusement from words with dual meanings, and particularly enjoyed ‘spare bank’, ‘god parkering’, and ‘fartering’.

Exploring Oslo

So I’ve had a few days experience of Oslo and my thoughts so far are:

It’s full of shiny new people and things
It’s very clean
Oslo has big traffic congestion problems
Norway has a lot of laws
The hotel has free wi-fi access in all rooms – nice!
It is expensive, but no more so than London
I’ve not seen a fish anywhere (although I think they are just hiding out of sight)
People get called Odd and Even
Most people have an almost perfect understanding of English, and can speak it with very little accent. I’ve been told that English is compulsory at schools from the age of 8 onwards. I suspect that the similarity in structure of English and Norwegian and Swedish may also be a contributing factor. Whatever the reason, I am in awe.
I met an old Odd guy who says his father tried to assassinate Trotsky when he was living here in Norway
I can once again buy goodies such as muffins and NME magazine. It really is a rock-star life-style I lead.

Organizing Norway

I am going to Norway today, for three weeks on business. I’ve never been to Scandanavia before so I’m looking forward to the trip, and especially to seeing the Norwegian countryside. My flight leaves in about 3 hours and everything is packed (excepting the computer I’m typing this on). I hate this dead-time before a big trip as I’m too jittery to do anything, but too organized to leave everything until the last minute.

People keep telling me that Norway is a very expensive country, and that I should expect to eat a lot of fish. I suspect the first is very likely to be true, and the second may just be a cultural stereotype. I’ll find out soon enough!

Anyway, here’s the extent of my Norwegian knowledge:

munch

After realizing my passport runs out in a few months, I’m feeling very much like that.

Isolating bubble

It’s been a busy month and I’ve barely had time to sit down, let alone write anything here. To top it all, both my parents have been hospitalized in some manner: my Dad suffered a ruptured bowel and underwent an emergency operation, and my Mum broke her shoulder.

It’s at times like these that you really notice how complicated living in another country can be. Not only do you feel helpless and so very far away, but even trying to find information can be problematic. For example, in calling the hospital about my Dad, I had to prove that I was directly related to him. This is easy to do in person, but how can you do it over the phone? Beyond birth date (which I know for many people), there is little that both myself and the hospital would know.

After convincing the staff that I was a real son, I then discovered that the phones provided to patients are on a premium-rate line anyway. That’s right, to call someone in the hospital you need to pay through the nose.

This quite astounded me as it seems tantamount to blackmail – pay up or we won’t tell you how your relative is. If you don’t care then don’t bother, but if you do then give us your money. Is this what hospitals have come to? An opportunity to outsource and have a money-grabbing company leech off the sick?

Growing Flesh

A recent BBC news article caught my eye:

An international research team has proposed new techniques that may lead to the mass production of meat reared not on the farm, but in the laboratory.

Developments in tissue engineering mean that cells taken from animals could be grown directly into meat in a laboratory, the researchers say.

Scientists believe the technology already exists to directly grow processed meat like a chicken nugget.

Exactly what does it mean when it says ‘grow processed meat’? Should we expect fully-formed and genetically perfect burger trees? Are we heading to a Matrix-style ‘Field Of Flesh’, with our daily Meat intake provided by the latest harvest of Meat cubes?