Bangkok

Transport

Bangkok is a big city, and your legs can only carry you so far before you succumb to the noise, pollution, and intensely humid heat. Fortunately there are better ways of getting about.

Public transport

Public transport consists of buses, a small metro system (MRT), and the Skytrain (BTS). As a tourist you’ll probably find the buses too difficult. The metro and Skytrain will therefore be your best friend and are very efficient, cheap, and cool. Unfortunately they don’t span the entire city, and most of the tourist areas (such as the Grand Palace) are not on their route.

Using the Skytrain or metro is simplicity itself. Every station has ticket machines showing your current location, and a number for each other station. Decide which station you want to visit, press the appropriate number on the machine (everything is in English and Thai), and insert the required money to receive a plastic card (on the Skytrain) or a plastic coin (in the metro). Insert this in the gates and you’re done. The machines accept only coins, but a change booth is always nearby.

All-day tickets exist, if you intend making a lot of journeys. For a very comprehensive list of prices and destinations, visit the Skytrain and MRT pages at sawadee.com.

Tuk-tuk

Tuk-tuks are those 3-wheel scooter-cars from hell you’ve seen in movies. They’re a lot of fun, are deafeningly noisy, and expose you to all the best of Bangkok’s pollution. They are also mostly a rip-off, and will introduce you to much of the bad-side of Bangkok’s tourist problems.

Fares in a tuk-tuk must be agreed beforehand. Most drivers will speak some English, enough at least to rip you off. Don’t expect a tuk-tuk to take you a short distance. If the fare isn’t high enough the driver will just as sooner sleep. Do expect some ridiculously high quotes, so if you do go for a tuk-tuk ride, be sure to bargain hard.

Rule #2: Tuk-tuks will take you to places you don’t want to go.

This is a major problem. Sooner or later you’ll find a tuk-tuk who seems to offer you an unbelievable deal. They’ll drive you around to all sorts of places, and only charge you 100 baht. Perfect!

What they may not tell you is that the deal involves visiting a tailor, a jeweller, or a restaurant. If they do tell you, they will spin some story about collecting petrol vouchers and that you only need to spend 5 minutes in the shop, which will help them so very much.

Refuse all detours. It’s a simple rule. Not only will you be wasting your holiday, but you’ll be exposing yourself to hardened salesmen who will try their best to convince you of the need for a new suit or ruby ring, and to relieve you of money you didn’t want to spend. These guys are very good at what they do. Don’t give them a chance to do it.

The fact is that the tuk-tuk driver is receiving much more than just free petrol, and if a sale is made he will receive a slice of your tourist pie.

Any tuk-tuk driver worth his salt will engage you in conversation designed to extract information so that he can determine if you are a good opportunity. Don’t bother will all this. Take a taxi and save yourself any hassle. It’s not a question of living dangerously, nor is it one of giving a small amount to someone much poorer than yourself; it’s about enjoying your holiday and making the most of your time.

Taxis

Taxis are almost always your best bet when it comes to transport outside of the public transport network. Yes, they will rip you off if they have chance, but at least you’ll be transported in the calm and noise-free environment of an air-conditioned car.

Do not try and make deals with taxis, just ask for the meter. Whatever deal they offer will always be more expensive.

Taxi drivers may not speak much English, so any map or directions from a hotel will be of great use.